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At 07:01:25 PST on 07-19-09, BSN wrote:
> Your invoking the Tin Man's words suggests something else that occurs to me. With no heart, we would not feel the pain, much like I Am A Rock, "if I never loved, I never would have cried".......We counsel each other with words that make a great deal of sense; that being, if we were able to get thru this easily, then we wouldn't have had the passion for his music; many people were simply sad to hear of Kenny's passing, others unphased, not knowing him.
>
>We had the opportunity, and we had most of our adult lives to embrace that voice.
>
>Now that I've said it, I have to admit that I'm still angry, still stunned, still so sad. The person writing below recalled for us how Kenny's music/voice helped her thru the tragedy of her husband's death. While hard to read, it reminds me that we have many people in our lives, and some losses are even more 'significant' than the passing of an artist. This is not to minimize the emptiness we feel, but simply to suggest that with Kenny we have so much still to hold, to hear, and for that we should be grateful.
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>It's hard to be grateful when you feel cheated, and so abruptly. It's wonderful the Forum is here so that we can externalize these feelings, and to share.
>No words of wisdom intended; altho grief shared very often more manageable.
>
>Barry
Thank you so much for your response. You really helped me to understand the meaning of grief. It is very true that if you have a heart, then you will feel love as well as pain and sadness. That is what makes us human. I have to accept the joy and happiness that makes my heart sing, as well as the loss and anger when someone I love passes on.
The last year and a half has been particularly difficult for me. I lost my father in February 2008. He lived to the ripe old age of 92, but the agony was that I didn't get to see him before he died. I was too late. He was calling for me, but I wasn't there to hold his hand and whisper words of love and tell him it was okay to go. I hadn't seen him in over a year and a half and seeing me one more time was his dying wish. I became seriously ill after I flew back east for his funeral. I can celebrate his life and know that it was one well lived, but he was my rock, my heart, my strength. I was lost without him. Then I lost my job eight months later.
What has given me strength in these times is music. Kenny was like a voice of hope, of love, of unending beauty. Now he is gone and I also find myself, like you, struggling with anger at times. Why did he have to go when he was working on a new album? Why did he have to get this insidious disease that took him so quickly. He did not have the longevity that my father did. At least I know that my father had it all. Kenny still had more music in him. Now we won't hear it. But as soon as I listen to him once more, I find the anger giving way to gratitude that we had him at all. That is what I have to hang on to, as I struggle to deal with his loss.
MindyM
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